God in our lives, even when we don't know it

I generally don't talk much about God or the effect He has had in our lives, but today I just felt the need to do so.

My husband and I got married a few months over 20 years ago. We were both working low paying jobs, but my husband was in his final semester of college so things would be looking up. He graduated in May and he started looking for work. He had a few interviews, but no offers, so we continued to work our minimum wage jobs. Then in late October, be discovered the birth control pills didn't work and thaI was pregnant.

We were happy, but at the same time deeply concerned about just how we were going to pay for the doctor and delivery. The week before Christmas, we got a call. He was offered a job in the central part of the state (we lived in the NE corner at the time, where both of our families were) and he would start on January 7th.

God was looking out for us.

We stayed in a hotel for a couple of days and while my husband worked, I looked for us a place to live. We signed lease papers on Wednesday afternoon. The rent was affordable and we had the option to buy. So we did. Signed the mortgage papers in mid-May before our beautiful daughter was born the first week of June.

God was providing for us.

A couple of years later, we discover again that birth control pills still don't work. I was pregnant. We had wanted to wait another couple of years and we just were not ready for another child. After the shock wore off, we were happy. It was a difficult pregnancy, with a lot of swelling and blood pressure that just would not stay under control. And in March, our son was born. By mutual consensus between us and the doctor, it was decided that we really didn't want any more children and that birth control pills obviously were not the best option for me. So during my second C-section, I had a tubal.

Then in 1997, when my daughter was 6 and my son was 3, I got sick. Rheumatoid Arthritis. And in 6 months I went from one inflamed joint to barely being able to walk or hold a pencil. It took almost 2 years to find a combination of meds that worked for me. I had to take a pregnancy test to prove that I wasn't because the side effects would have been devastating. 90% chance of miscarriage and a 99% of massive birth defects if carried to term.

God knew when I needed my children, even if it wasn't on our timetable.

During all of this time, we had been trying to keep up with the Joneses, but now with medical bills to added to the burden, we knew that would have to stop. We refinanced the house and cashed out enough equity to pay off the credit cards. We haven't picked one up since. We have paid off all of our debt except the house. Then my RA finally got bad enough that I just couldn't work any more. I was a hard decision to not work any more, I felt useless and like a burden to my family, but it gave me the time to do things I never had time to do. I finally decided, after not working for over 2 years, that I needed to apply for Disability. I took 2.5 years of paper work and worry, but in March of my daughter's Senior year, I was approved. My husband's job had gotten iffy due to lay-offs, so with the back pay, we recast our mortgage, again, and got the payment down so that we could live on my disability if we had to.

Again, God was looking out for us. He has provided for us and watched over us, even in we had almost given up hope.

Now, my husband is concerned about his job again, but when our son graduates High School and goes off to college, we will be free to move back to the NE corner of the state to be with family as they get older. And our home will be paid off, so when we sell, we will get to keep the money and pay cash for the next one.

God is indeed good. In every way.

Build your own home

I recently read an article about building a house without a mortgage. The family did most of the work, lived on site, and paid for supplies in bits and pieces, as they could. It actually was a very nice looking house.

That would probably be the best way to go on building a house for ourselves. That way we can get exactly what we want, without having to make due with what ever we can find. It would also allow us to use salvaged materials like windows and doors to save money. If I want a big laundry room, all I have to do is build it that way. We can dig a basement/ root cellar and build the house on top of it without having to worry too much about hitting a water pipe or a gas line.

Granted, that would also mean that we would have to do the work. I am convinced that we CAN do if we set our minds to it. We would probably have to hire out the plumbing and electric though. I really don't want to compromise on the safety on that sort of thing. Could we do it? Sure. Do we want to run the risk of burning down the house or having the plumbing back up into the kitchen? Nope. So that will be an expense we would have to deal with.

I really like the idea of building it ourself. Not only could we spend more money on the land, it would give us some quality family time together. And the kids might accidentally learn something useful.

Here is the link to the article I read.

http://www.motherearthnews.com/Modern-Homesteading/2002-02-01/Build-Your-Own-Home-and-be-Debt-Free.aspx

I guess this will just have to be something to think about.

Money for Nothing

I have been thinking a lot about the effects money, or the lack there of, has on us as humans. The saying that money can't buy happiness is true, as far as that goes, but it can buy comfort. A comfortable home, good food, things to make life easier. But that isn't happiness.

And what is happiness anyway? For someone living on the street, it could mean a hot meal and bed to sleep in. For a CEO of a multinational corporation, it could mean a new acquisition in a previously untapped market. But are those things really happiness or is it just momentary pleasure? I like to think that happiness is being content with everything in your life, from your home to your wardrobe and ending with your bank account.

I find that the things that make me truly happy have absolutely nothing to do with money. A spontaneous hug from my teens makes me happy. A kiss good morning from my husband makes me happy. Watching the birds playing in the birdbath makes me happy. Planting seeds in the earth makes me happy. Watching a plant burst from the soil and struggle to make a flower makes me happy. Giving someone a gift that I have made with my own hands makes me happy. My family enjoying a meal that I prepared makes me happy.

Having money left in the bank after I pay all of the bills does not make me happy, it gives me a feeling of satisfaction, but not one of happiness. Buying a new TV does not make me happy. Nor does wearing a new outfit. Or being the first to see a new movie or to eat at a new restaurant. All of those things just don't do it for me. I guess I am just not into the "stuff" collecting. I have seen people work long hours and then spend all of their money on eating out or keeping up with the Joneses. And I just don't get it.

So I don't have the latest model of cell phone that can send videos and take pictures, or use a GPS in my car. Why do I need those things? What possible good would they do me? I have a basic phone that can make and receive calls and that is about it. My truck gets me where I need to go and if I get lost, I have a $2 map under the seat. And if the map isn't good enough, I can call for directions. I do not need a digital voice to give me turn by turn directions to within 4 inches to my parent's house. Of course, the directions to my dad's place is more like "...then turn off the paved road, and then after about a mile, you pass the hay field on the left..."

I guess what I don't understand is the overwhelming drive some people have to collect money just so they can spend it. Yes, it is nice to be able to have pretty things and fast cars and a big house, but I just don't need that. I can be happy without all of the "stuff" that most people take for granted. I have my family, a roof over our heads, food in the pantry, good friends to visit with, and the knowledge that, regardless of technology, I actually want the things I have, not just have the things I want.

Debt, Debt, and more Debt

For the last several months I have been scouring the web for tips on how to live well on less money. I have found a lot of good ideas. And some that are a little bit out there. But they all say about the same thing. Get rid of your debt.

I know that for some people that sounds nearly impossible. As a society, we have all gotten used to the instant gratification that comes with being able to buy whatever you want on credit. You find that great pair of shoes that are on sale for only $75 and you whip out the Visa or "Store" card and buy them on the spot. But if you don't pay off the balance every month, and how many of us can actually do that, you wind up with interest that will make those $75 pair of shoes cost well over $100 in the long run. And did you really need another pair of strappy black heels anyway?

With the way the economy is headed (and the credit crisis, housing crisis, and unemployment going up) a lot of people are beginning to realize just how over-extended they really are. If your house payment, car payments, utilities, and credit card bills are more than your income for the month, you are in big trouble.

Credit card companies are the world's biggest scam. They offer credit to just about anyone on the hope that people will buy more than they can afford to pay off every month. They make billions of dollars a year off of the interest. And the real kicker is that if you are ever late getting your paying in, they can legally double, or in some cases, triple your interest rate, making it even harder to get it paid off. Trust me, I have been there. And it really sucks.

I have found a couple of ways to get out of debt that don't involve bankruptcy. I will use our situation as an example of what not to do, or how to fix it if you already have.

When my husband and I first got married, we each had a credit card(visa) and I had a department store card. We didn't use them much, only for necessities like getting the cars worked on or replacing worn out clothes. Then I got pregnant with my daughter and my husband got a new job in a new town. So we had to move. No one would hire a pregnant girl so I couldn't work and we had the expenses of moving and setting up a new household. Visa time. Well, since I was pregnant before he got hired, the new insurance considered it a pre-existing condition and wouldn't pay the doctor visits. So that was $200 a month out of our already slim budget. Utility deposits, rent deposits, moving expenses, gas back and forth to get everything moved, all of that left us eating mac and cheese and ham sandwiches. And it also raised our credit card bills. By the time my daughter was born, we had bought the house we were renting, so we also had closing costs and insurance to pay. We were almost $2000 in debt in a matter of a couple of months. Now we had diapers, formula, baby clothes, doctor visits for the baby in addition to my hospital bills for the delivery on top of the student loan payments that were coming due, house payment, car payment, utilities, and the credit cards. So more credit card debt was building up.

By the time we finally decided that it just had to stop, we had 5 credit card with high interest rates (almost $22,000 in debt), 2 gas cards, 2 department store cards, a car payment, a house payment, and 2 kids in daycare. Even with minimum payments on the cards, the total everything combined was more than our monthly income. Then we discovered the Debit Card.

That was actually a wonderful day for us. It allowed us to completely stop using the credit cards. If we didn't have the money to cover it in the bank, we simply couldn't buy it. We were 13 years into a 30 year mortgage so we refinanced the house for a lower interest rate, cashed out enough equity to pay off 4 of the 5 credit cards(boy was it fun to cut up those cards) and continued to pay on the last one until we got the truck paid off. Then we began to apply the amount of the truck payment to the payment we were making to the credit card ( an extra $334 a month) and finally started getting that one paid off. A large cash gift from the Mother-In-Law took care of the rest of it.

Wow! No more credit card debt.

I know that most people cannot expect a large cash gift, but there are ways to get out of debt without going crazy.

1) STOP USING CREDIT CARDS! If you cannot afford to pay cash for it, do not buy it.

2) Actually sit down with all of your bills, bank statements, loan payment books, and a calculator. Make 3 columns, one with income amounts with every dime that comes in from every source for the month, one with the payment amounts due for the month not counting groceries, and the last column is for the amount of outstanding debt left on that bill. Add up each column and see if your bills are more than your income. Also compare your income to the balances due on all of that credit. You may be shocked to realize that you have $15,000 in credit card debt and that if you only make minimum payments every month, it will take you 12 years and $50,000 in interest to pay it off, if you don't add any more to the balance. That is an eye opener. And a real motivator for getting out of debt.

3) When you pay off a debt, you do NOT have extra money each month. Use that payment on another debt. If you paid off a debt that you were paying $250 a month on, like a car payment, you now add $250 to the highest interest payment that you have. Keep doing that until that debt is paid off. Then you take the combined payment amount (say...$550) a month, and add that amount to the next highest interest bill. And you keep doing that until everything is paid off. This is actually a fast and rather painless way to pay off your bills. You are not used to having the extra money anyway, so why not use it to get rid of debt.

Now, this is not a step by step guide for getting out of debt. There are a thousand different ways to do that, and just as many opinions on which way is the best. But you cannot get out of debt by using credit to make all of your day to day purchases. You have to make the decision to get out of debt all by yourself. No one can do it for you. If you are not willing to give up those shopping sprees or eating out every night, then no one can help you.