Sunday, October 24, 2010

God in our lives, even when we don't know it

I generally don't talk much about God or the effect He has had in our lives, but today I just felt the need to do so.

My husband and I got married a few months over 20 years ago. We were both working low paying jobs, but my husband was in his final semester of college so things would be looking up. He graduated in May and he started looking for work. He had a few interviews, but no offers, so we continued to work our minimum wage jobs. Then in late October, be discovered the birth control pills didn't work and thaI was pregnant.

We were happy, but at the same time deeply concerned about just how we were going to pay for the doctor and delivery. The week before Christmas, we got a call. He was offered a job in the central part of the state (we lived in the NE corner at the time, where both of our families were) and he would start on January 7th.

God was looking out for us.

We stayed in a hotel for a couple of days and while my husband worked, I looked for us a place to live. We signed lease papers on Wednesday afternoon. The rent was affordable and we had the option to buy. So we did. Signed the mortgage papers in mid-May before our beautiful daughter was born the first week of June.

God was providing for us.

A couple of years later, we discover again that birth control pills still don't work. I was pregnant. We had wanted to wait another couple of years and we just were not ready for another child. After the shock wore off, we were happy. It was a difficult pregnancy, with a lot of swelling and blood pressure that just would not stay under control. And in March, our son was born. By mutual consensus between us and the doctor, it was decided that we really didn't want any more children and that birth control pills obviously were not the best option for me. So during my second C-section, I had a tubal.

Then in 1997, when my daughter was 6 and my son was 3, I got sick. Rheumatoid Arthritis. And in 6 months I went from one inflamed joint to barely being able to walk or hold a pencil. It took almost 2 years to find a combination of meds that worked for me. I had to take a pregnancy test to prove that I wasn't because the side effects would have been devastating. 90% chance of miscarriage and a 99% of massive birth defects if carried to term.

God knew when I needed my children, even if it wasn't on our timetable.

During all of this time, we had been trying to keep up with the Joneses, but now with medical bills to added to the burden, we knew that would have to stop. We refinanced the house and cashed out enough equity to pay off the credit cards. We haven't picked one up since. We have paid off all of our debt except the house. Then my RA finally got bad enough that I just couldn't work any more. I was a hard decision to not work any more, I felt useless and like a burden to my family, but it gave me the time to do things I never had time to do. I finally decided, after not working for over 2 years, that I needed to apply for Disability. I took 2.5 years of paper work and worry, but in March of my daughter's Senior year, I was approved. My husband's job had gotten iffy due to lay-offs, so with the back pay, we recast our mortgage, again, and got the payment down so that we could live on my disability if we had to.

Again, God was looking out for us. He has provided for us and watched over us, even in we had almost given up hope.

Now, my husband is concerned about his job again, but when our son graduates High School and goes off to college, we will be free to move back to the NE corner of the state to be with family as they get older. And our home will be paid off, so when we sell, we will get to keep the money and pay cash for the next one.

God is indeed good. In every way.

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