God in our lives, even when we don't know it

I generally don't talk much about God or the effect He has had in our lives, but today I just felt the need to do so.

My husband and I got married a few months over 20 years ago. We were both working low paying jobs, but my husband was in his final semester of college so things would be looking up. He graduated in May and he started looking for work. He had a few interviews, but no offers, so we continued to work our minimum wage jobs. Then in late October, be discovered the birth control pills didn't work and thaI was pregnant.

We were happy, but at the same time deeply concerned about just how we were going to pay for the doctor and delivery. The week before Christmas, we got a call. He was offered a job in the central part of the state (we lived in the NE corner at the time, where both of our families were) and he would start on January 7th.

God was looking out for us.

We stayed in a hotel for a couple of days and while my husband worked, I looked for us a place to live. We signed lease papers on Wednesday afternoon. The rent was affordable and we had the option to buy. So we did. Signed the mortgage papers in mid-May before our beautiful daughter was born the first week of June.

God was providing for us.

A couple of years later, we discover again that birth control pills still don't work. I was pregnant. We had wanted to wait another couple of years and we just were not ready for another child. After the shock wore off, we were happy. It was a difficult pregnancy, with a lot of swelling and blood pressure that just would not stay under control. And in March, our son was born. By mutual consensus between us and the doctor, it was decided that we really didn't want any more children and that birth control pills obviously were not the best option for me. So during my second C-section, I had a tubal.

Then in 1997, when my daughter was 6 and my son was 3, I got sick. Rheumatoid Arthritis. And in 6 months I went from one inflamed joint to barely being able to walk or hold a pencil. It took almost 2 years to find a combination of meds that worked for me. I had to take a pregnancy test to prove that I wasn't because the side effects would have been devastating. 90% chance of miscarriage and a 99% of massive birth defects if carried to term.

God knew when I needed my children, even if it wasn't on our timetable.

During all of this time, we had been trying to keep up with the Joneses, but now with medical bills to added to the burden, we knew that would have to stop. We refinanced the house and cashed out enough equity to pay off the credit cards. We haven't picked one up since. We have paid off all of our debt except the house. Then my RA finally got bad enough that I just couldn't work any more. I was a hard decision to not work any more, I felt useless and like a burden to my family, but it gave me the time to do things I never had time to do. I finally decided, after not working for over 2 years, that I needed to apply for Disability. I took 2.5 years of paper work and worry, but in March of my daughter's Senior year, I was approved. My husband's job had gotten iffy due to lay-offs, so with the back pay, we recast our mortgage, again, and got the payment down so that we could live on my disability if we had to.

Again, God was looking out for us. He has provided for us and watched over us, even in we had almost given up hope.

Now, my husband is concerned about his job again, but when our son graduates High School and goes off to college, we will be free to move back to the NE corner of the state to be with family as they get older. And our home will be paid off, so when we sell, we will get to keep the money and pay cash for the next one.

God is indeed good. In every way.

Build your own home

I recently read an article about building a house without a mortgage. The family did most of the work, lived on site, and paid for supplies in bits and pieces, as they could. It actually was a very nice looking house.

That would probably be the best way to go on building a house for ourselves. That way we can get exactly what we want, without having to make due with what ever we can find. It would also allow us to use salvaged materials like windows and doors to save money. If I want a big laundry room, all I have to do is build it that way. We can dig a basement/ root cellar and build the house on top of it without having to worry too much about hitting a water pipe or a gas line.

Granted, that would also mean that we would have to do the work. I am convinced that we CAN do if we set our minds to it. We would probably have to hire out the plumbing and electric though. I really don't want to compromise on the safety on that sort of thing. Could we do it? Sure. Do we want to run the risk of burning down the house or having the plumbing back up into the kitchen? Nope. So that will be an expense we would have to deal with.

I really like the idea of building it ourself. Not only could we spend more money on the land, it would give us some quality family time together. And the kids might accidentally learn something useful.

Here is the link to the article I read.

http://www.motherearthnews.com/Modern-Homesteading/2002-02-01/Build-Your-Own-Home-and-be-Debt-Free.aspx

I guess this will just have to be something to think about.

Personal Responsibility

One of the many things that really bother me about the direction we are headed as a country is the sheer apathy that most of the country is falling under. No one really cares about anyone else, no one cares about anything but immediate satisfaction of a momentary urge, and no one cares about long term consequences of their actions.

I am a firm believer of Karma, what goes around comes around, and the Threefold Laws. As a country, we are all paying for our past actions. My generation grew up with the belief that we are owed everything by others, that we should be given given what we want and if we don't get it, we should just sue someone to get it. Now there are a few problems with that mindset. I am a bit different that most of my generation. First and foremost is that no one OWES anyone anything. If you do not wish to work, you should not be entitled to benefits that one would expect to receive by working. Those people who work all of their lives and barely make enough to live on expect to get Social Security benefits when they retire. Then there are those whose sole job is to get as much Social Security benefits as possible so they never have to work. There are even those people who have babies out of wedlock just so that they can draw a bigger welfare check. Our country is now paying for the excesses of corrupt society. Our banks are collapsing because they gave risky loans to risky people in the name of greed. Our factories are exporting jobs to third world countries as fast as they can because of wage inflation and over regulation. Bankruptcy courts are being flooded with people who can not pay their credit card bills.

Are we all so conceited that we believe that throwing money at a problem will fix it? Money is not going to fix what is wrong with our country any more. The problem is that corruption has spread into every facet of our lives. We have people who worship the all mighty dollar. We have people who believe that the one with the most toys, wins. And we have people, and corporations, who have no conscience at all when it comes to business matters. No one cares if their next door neighbor is getting laid off because his job is being outsourced to India or Poland because they are too worried about their own job.

We all want the luxuries that the media tell us we should have so we sell our souls to the credit card companies. But when it comes time to pay the piper, we can't. So to pay the credit card bills, we get a second mortgage to pay off the bills. Then, we lose our jobs to someone in another country. Now we have 2 mortgages, kids in school, a couple of car payments and no job. What do we do? File bankruptcy. Now, individually, it doesn't affect society as a whole. The problem is when thousands of people are in this situation. Mortgage companies are having so many people declaring bankruptcy that the banks that underwrite the mortgages are having solvency problems. Banks going bankrupt is bad. Very very bad. It causes everyone who can pay their bills to lose money. It causes stock prices to fall, the dollar to lose value in international markets, and it causes inflation to rise. Inflation, along with a higher unemployment rate, increased fuel prices, and tanking consumer confidence, is adding to the pressure on the government to bail everyone out. The problem with that is the government can't really pay for any kind of bailout without raising taxes. Taxes that are already bordering on the extreme.

I don't know if all of these are just symptoms of the disease that affects our country or if it is the cause. But it will not get any better in this country until we all just take a deep breath and own up to our responsibility.